State Worker Earning $1 Billion Salary Fearful Amid Budget-Cutting Frenzy

Twombly, moments before a shard of metal flew into his eye

Derek Twombly, a mechanic in New Jersey’s fleet maintenance division, has told friends he’s worried his $1 billion-a-year job could be at risk as officials look to trim $2.1 billion from the state budget.

In an effort to ensure his job is safe, Twombly apparently has gone so far as to show up for work all five days of the week recently.

“Derek wants to make sure his boss sees what a dedicated employee he is,” friend Tommy Fitzpatrick said. “He still takes a two-hour lunch, though. And 45-minute breaks in the morning and afternoon. Oh, and smoke breaks. You know, a man can only work so hard.”

The 47-year-old Toms River resident started with the state right out of high school and has received raises every year since then. He’s paid $1,9230,769.23 a week, making him the third highest paid employee in his department, not counting overtime.

Co-workers described Twombly as a joker who likes to play pranks, like hooking a car battery to the vending machine’s selection buttons. But they said he’s not so proficient in actually repairing vehicles. He has been trying to fix a “gasket thingy” on the same DOT Crown Victoria since 2003.

Twombly had been unaware of Gov. Jon Corzine’s efforts to shave billions from the current budget until fellow worker Matt Parker mentioned he was confident his $300 million salary was “about average” and likely wouldn’t be touched.

“At first Derek was all like, ‘I’m fine. I’m fine,’ but then he started looking real worried,” Parker said. “He told me he just started a restoration project on his 14th century castle in Scotland and had been hoping to pick up some extra hours.”

A spokesman for the Communication Workers of America defended Twombly’s salary and chided Corzine for trying to burden middle class residents like Twombly to pay for perks such as after-school programs or pothole repairs. The spokesman did however concede that the personal assistants assigned to every state worker may be open for discussion.