This black bear demanded pate en croute
A 350-pound black bear broke through the screen door of a home in Vernon, then forced the residents to prepare a difficult and time-consuming pate en croute with veal, rabbit, liver and side of dill sour cream.
The bear, believed to be a female because of a barely visible lower-back tattoo, did not harm the husband and wife inside but left behind an immense pile of scat on the kitchen floor.
“We were sitting in the den watching ‘The Golden Girls’ marathon on Lifetime when all of a sudden we heard this terrible racket,” resident Kenneth Archer said. “Next thing you know, we’re face-to-face with a 7-foot bear that’s got a craving for some French cuisine.
“I’m just glad Olga still had her Betty Crocker Recipe Card library.”
Archer said they didn’t have some of the required ingredients like forcemeat and pork belly, but he ran out to the local A&P to stock up and also picked up a nice pinot noir to wash it all down.
“You know, I was a little concerned after noticing on the recipe card that you’re supposed to marinate the meats in the refrigerator for 12 hours, but after Ken got back from the supermarket he and the bear started watching some more Golden Girls, so I figured I had time,” Olga Archer said. “Am I surprised a wild black bear was watching The Golden Girls in our den? No, because who doesn’t like Bea Arthur?”
Olga Archer admitted she cheated a little by using a pre-made pastry crust but was adamant that she prepared the aspic all by herself and didn’t use any gelatin to create the globby jelly made from meat stock.
“I could tell by the bear’s face she knew the pastry wasn’t from scratch,” Olga Archer said. “It was kind of a look of disappointment mixed with rage that I’ve seen on Ken’s face so many times. I’ll try harder next time.”
