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The only sandwich combo God intended, conservatives say.

The only sandwich combo God intended, conservatives say.

Republican lawmakers and conservative activists in New Jersey are pushing for an amendment to the state constitution that would ban same-topping sandwiches.

The groups said they will begin a push to have the issue placed on the ballot next year and let Garden State residents - not legislators - decide whether it should be legal for someone to make a peanut butter and peanut butter sandwich.

“This is not about discrimination. This is about what is moral, what is right,” state Sen. Gerald Cardinale (R-Bergen) told reporters. “Peanut butter and jelly were meant to go together. You know, PB&J just sounds right. PB&PB or J&J? That’s sick.”

“We’re not trying to legislate what you do in the kitchen,” Cardinale continued between bites of an American cheese sandwich. “But this state of ours is headed down a path I don’t think any of us wants to go and it all comes back to the sandwich.”

Gregory Quinlan, director of government affairs for New Jersey Sandwich First, said putting only peanut butter or jelly on both slices of bread tears at the fabric of society.

“And don’t even get me started on the depravity of a peanut butter and banana sandwich,” Quinlan said. “It’s an affront to nature. Besides, what kind of message are we sending to our children?”

Gov. Jon Corzine has long advocated for tolerance on the question of same-topping sandwiches and reiterated his desire for the legislature to pass a bill allowing such combinations.

“The governor’s on the record supporting fairness and equality for all sandwiches,” spokesman Sean Darcy said. “In fact, he just ate a peanut butter and Marshmallow Fluff sandwich today for lunch.”

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Fire Bolt on his way to another stomp speech

Fire Bolt on his way to another stomp speech

A dark horse candidate has been galloping through New Jersey picking up supporters in a quest for the Republican gubernatorial nomination and as the race approaches the finish line, some political experts believe he could beat the odds and win.

Many conservative voters who’ve shown up for the candidate’s stomp speeches are surprised to learn he is literally a dark horse - a 3-year-old black stallion named Fire Bolt.

“From what I heard, I was impressed,” said Bernardsville resident Jack Ledbetter, a lifelong Republican. “I like his stance on gun rights, abortion and choosing alfalfa over hay. Of course, I was kind of reading between the lines a little, considering he only whinnied and dragged his hoof in the dirt.

“Even so, Fire Bolt makes more sense to me than that fellow with the sketchy brother and the other guy who reminds me of Dr. Strangelove.”

With his flowing mane, sleek muscles and intense eyes, Fire Bolt has all the right looks for one demographic, according to recent polls - conservative white males. When shown pictures of Fire Bolt, Chris Christie and Steve Lonegan and asked who they’d vote for in the primary Tuesday, 87 percent of Republican men who are white chose the horse.

“I think there’s something captivating about a big, strong stallion with bulging muscles just beneath the skin, at least for conservative males,” pollster Don Schwartzman said. “I can’t tell you the reasons, I just know the data tells me they are hooked on that horse.”

But until voters step into the booth to cast their ballot, it’s never clear what will happen. Schwartzman suspects that despite the latest polls, it’s still neck and neck between Christie and Fire Bolt.

“In the end, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be Fire Bolt by a nose,” the pollster said, “mostly because Christie isn’t a good mudder and has a poor sprint down the home stretch.”

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Steve Lonegan polled well with pale, sweaty white guys

Steve Lonegan polled well with pale, sweaty white guys

New polling suggests Republican gubernatorial candidate Steve Lonegan has a virtual stranglehold on male voters who are pale, sweat excessively and make people a little creeped out.

The Quinnipiac University poll found that while Lonegan trails GOP frontrunner Chris Christie by a wide margin among likely voters, the tables are turned when looking only at men with pasty skin, undiagnosed hyperhidrosis and a slight leer.

“The results are simply stunning,” poll director Don Schwartzman said. “Some of it can likely be explained by his positions on immigration, gun proliferation and flat taxes. But there is more going on here and part of it, I think, is this demographic, for some unknown reason, feels a strong connection to Lonegan.”

The survey asked questions of 2,456 registered New Jersey voters, 723 of whom were identified as “sweaty, pale white guy.” Of the overall likely voters, 4 percent said they planned to vote for Lonegan. But among the sub-demographic, 97 percent said they supported the former mayor of Bogota.

The poll had a 3 percent margin of error.

One of the poll’s respondents, Roy Hatton, said he’s been outside his first-floor North Plainfield apartment only twice since Steve Forbes ran unsuccessfully for president on the flat tax issue in 1996. He answered his door with a towel draped around his neck and his shirt drenched. (When asked if he had just gotten out of the shower, Hatton said, “No. Why?”)

“Steve Lonegan speaks to me in a way the other candidates don’t. Mostly at night, when I’m alone. Well, I’m always alone, but when the TV is off,” Hatton said. “I think if enough of us band together with our absentee ballots, we can get him into the general election.”

Lonegan’s campaign declined to discuss the poll results, but pointed to a section of his website that reads, “He understands your problems, because he shares your problems. He’s for us, because he’s one of us.”

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